To report suspected child abuse,
call the New York State
Child Abuse Hotline at:
1-800-342-3720

Police/Fire/Ambulance
911

Rape/Crisis (SAVAR) HOTLINE
315-252-2112

Mental Health Hotline
315-253-0341

For Kids

What you don't know can hurt you

What Is Child Sexual Abuse?
Child sexual abuse is when an adult or older child touches or rubs a child's private parts (i.e. penis, testicles, vagina, bottom, breasts), or when the adult or older child asks the child to touch or rub their private parts. The person who does this is called a sex offender. The offender might make you do these things and be rough with you, or they might pretend it's a game, or even give you a reward to do it. The offender could be someone you know, a relative, a stranger, or another child. Still, it's not OK, even if they try to make it fun and you think it is fun.

What To Do About Child Sexual Abuse?
You need to know that your body belongs to you. If you feel uncomfortable in the way you are being touched, you can tell the person "NO!" Also, tell another adult about what happened, parent, relative, teacher, or friend. It is important to keep telling until someone listens and helps.

How Do Children Feel When They Have Been Sexually Abused?
For some children, the sexual touching may feel good, and they may still like the person who did it. But some children have other feelings. Some children have feelings like being angry at the person, or afraid of him or her. Other children might feel guilty about what happened. Sometimes when people have these feelings, the feelings affect the way they behave. Like a child who is afraid may not want to sleep alone or be alone. Sometimes children get into more arguments and sometimes they may just feel sad and want to be alone. Some children feel upset for a long time after the abuse has ended, but they often feel better with the help of counseling. If children are having a hard time with these feelings, talking with a counselor or a parent can help them feel better.

Who Is Sexually Abused?
Sexual abuse happens to a lot of children. The best information we have is that, by the age of 18, one out of every three girls and one out of six boys experience some form of sexual abuse. It can happen to boys and girls of all ages, religion, and races. Some sexually abused children are rich, some are poor, and they are from all different neighborhoods.

Who Sexually Abuses Children?
There are some people who sexually abuse children, but there are many more people who only touch children with OK touches. Most sex offenders are men, though some are women. You cannot tell by the way they look, dress, or act that they are offenders. Most of the time the offender is not a stranger, but someone who is well known to the child.

Why Does Sexual Abuse Happen?
There are lots of different reasons just like there are lots of different offenders. But it is very hard to know the reason why it happens to any child. We do know this much: no child is responsible for what an adult does.

Why Don't Children Tell?
Sometimes the offender tells the child to keep it a secret. The offender may use tricks to keep the child from telling. The person may say: it's the child's fault, or that the child or her family will get hurt if she tells. These are all tricks. Sometimes children just keep it a secret because they feel ashamed, embarrassed or scared. Children should tell adults until they find one that will help them.

When Should you Suspect Abuse?
You cannot tell by looking at a child that he or she has been abused. Sometimes you can tell by the way they are acting that something is bothering them, but you do not know what it is. That is why it is so important for children to tell somebody.
Some children are very angry at the person who did the abuse or are scared of him or her. Other children may still like the person. Any of these feelings are OK.

Coping With Child Sexual Abuse
It is great to talk to a counselor, a parent, or some other adult you trust. You really do need to talk about sexual abuse, even though it can be hard. Talking will help you feel better after a while.

It is important to tell an adult about child abuse. There are a special telephone numbers that children and adults can call for help if they know that a child is being abused. You should identify these numbers for your locality and keep them accessible.

What is Abuse?

There are several types of child abuse, but the core element that ties them together is the emotional effect on the child.Their world is an unpredictable, unsafe, lonely and frightening place to live.

Child sexual abuse is an especially complicated form of abuse because of its layers of guilt and shame. It's important to recognize that sexual abuse doesn't always involve body contact. Exposing a child to sexual situations or material is sexually abusive, whether or not touching is involved.

While news stories of sexual predators are scary, what is even more frightening is that sexual abuse usually occurs at the hands of someone the child knows and should be able to trust—most often close relatives. And contrary to what many believe, it’s not just girls who are at risk. Boys and girls both suffer from sexual abuse. In fact, sexual abuse of boys may be underreported due to shame and stigma.

information by HELPGUIDE.org

Myths about Child Sexual Abuse

Myth #1:

Child sexual abuse occurs only among strangers. If children stay away from strangers, they will not be sexually abused.

Fact:

National statistics indicate that in approximately 88 percent of the cases, the offender is known to the victim. He/she is usually a relative, family member, family friend, baby-sitter or older friend of the child.

Myth #2:

Children provoke sexual abuse by their seductive behavior.

Fact:

Seductive behavior is not the cause. Responsibility for the act lies with the offender. Sexual abuse sexually exploits a child not developmentally capable of understanding or resisting and/or who may be psychologically or socially dependent on the offender.

Myth #3:

The majority of child sexual abuse victims tell someone about the abuse.

Fact:

According to a study by Dr. David Finkelhor, close to 2/3 of all child victims may not tell their parents or anyone else because they fear being blamed, punished or not believed.

Myth#4:

Men and women sexually abuse children equally.

Fact:

Men are offenders 94 percent of the time in cases of child sexual abuse. Men sexually abuse both male and female children. Seventy-five percent of male offenders are married or have consenting sexual relationships. Only about 4 percent of same-sex abuse involves homosexual perpetrators; 96 percent of the perpetrators are heterosexual.

Myth #5:

If the children did not want it, they could say, "Stop!"

Fact:

Children generally do not question the behavior of adults, having been taught to obey them. They are coerced by bribes, threats and use of a position of authority.

Myth #6:

All sexual abuse victims are girls.

Fact:

Studies on child sexual abuse indicate one in three females under the age of 18 and one in four males under the age of 18 are child sexual abuse victims.

Myth #7:

Family sexual abuse is an isolated, one-time incident.

Fact:

Studies indicate that most child sexual abuse continues for at least two years before it is reported. And in most cases, it doesn't stop until it's reported.

Myth #8:

In family sexual abuse, the "non-offending" parent always knows.

Fact:

While some "non-offending" parents know and even support the offender's actions, many, because of their lack of awareness, may suspect something is wrong, but are unclear as to what it is or what to do.

Myth #9:

Family sexual abuse only happens in low-income families.

Fact:

Family sexual abuse crosses all classes of society. There is no race, social, or economic class that is immune to family sexual abuse. Incest is estimated to occur in 14 percent of all families. Up to 25 percent of American children are incest victims.

Myth #10:

Non-violent sexual behavior between a child and adult is not damaging to the child.

Fact:

Nearly all victims will experience confusion, shame, guilt, anger, and a poor self-image. Child sexual abuse can result in long-term relationship problems and be perpetuated from generation to generation. Dr. Nicholas Groth, who has worked extensively with sexual offenders, reports that 60 percent of convicted sexual offenders have reported histories of child sexual abuse victimization.

Information provided by Red Flag Green Flag Resources, Rape and Crisis Abuse Center of Fargo/Moorhead.

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